Thursday, February 10, 2011

Online Advice

Guess what, readers? Puppy and I have been having such great days that there hasn’t been much action to give me something to write about. I tend to usually write about something that is affecting us at home, like the bad behaviors, and foul language, etc.

Because things have been so good lately, I decided to pick and choose a few words of wisdom and advice from other people whom are familiar with the autism spectrum disorder. These were taken straight from twitter account @thecoffeeklatch. If parts of it sound funny, it may be because these are conversations in 140 characters or less at a time. It might take 2 or 3 entries to get a complete thought. I hope you like these and may even be able to use them. Here we go:

Yes, kids and teens are testing the waters - they are testing you but don't assume its all defiance. Identify the triggers.

A very anxious frightened to the point of feeling physically sick child should have an evaluation on an OCD scale to rule it out. If there is in fact OCD or phobias, talk therapy and exposure and response can help tremendously to desensitize the child.

OK so you still can’t figure it out - you are in the third meltdown of the day - now what.... breathe – I’m not kidding – breathe.

I always used to tell myself do not be reactive be proactive even in the thick of it. Let the child calm, find what works for them; let them regulate - it is CRUCIAL that they learn to self calm but need you to teach them. Some use music other doodling or video game. This is not the time to take a hard line - this is the time to use the negative behavior to teach positive outcomes.

For teens cell phones and texting is great - no face to face - communicate and see how they are calming without confrontation. Let them know "I know this is hard for you" "I feel bad you are having such a hard time" "let me know if you need me".

The time to teach calming is when the child is calm not in the midst of a rage. Ask your child what calms you down – listen.

Know these kids can push you over the edge - it is hard to be compassionate when you want to scream but in the end you must set an example of how you deal with frustration, be a role model, be open about when you are stressed let them see you regulate.

The most common cause of rage and outbursts is lack of coping skills not defiance. Teaching skills on how to do things as well as teaching coping skills on how to deal with frustration and disappointment are key. Let the child be a part of the solution.

Being proactive is exhausting but dealing with a raging child is even more so. Avoid triggers, keep outings short, and address any possible learning disability - invisible disability - and fears. Fear is the main cause of most negative behaviors.

I think most importantly as the child grows is for them to know that you will not over react - you will be calm and they can trust you. This is so important as they go into their teens with social pressures and poor decision with drugs - friends and sex.

Well there you have it. A post with not too much effort, but with good information. Many thanks to my imaginary friends on twitter.