Puppy, don't stare

Saturdays are usually busy with chores around the house. We pick up Puppy's room, do laundry and basic cleaning. Although Puppy helps me on and off, the job gets done. He usually likes to spend time outdoors and will come in to cool down and rest every 20-30 minutes.

Since I had finished most of the cleaning and was only working on laundry, I was sitting down to watch TV as I sorted and folded the clothes. Well, to cut my expenses, I only have the smallest cable package to watch, so that translates into -- nothing. So I called Puppy in to tell him we were going to the convenient store to rent a movie from the Red Box stand. The store is only a few blocks away.

Puppy and I get down at the store and start to look for a movie to rent on the screen. As we are doing that, a man with a cigarette, long hair, in shorts and an undershirt, scruffy looking, comes up to the Red Box and begins to look at the poster of movies available. Puppy turned to see him, but not because of what he looked like, but because he was smoking. There's a history with Puppy and smoking that I think I blogged about last year. Nonetheless, this got his attention and Puppy began to stare at the man, then would look at me as if to see if I noticed him smoking. But the interest was strong and Puppy couldn't help but look at the man. Well the man didn't like it one bit. He never turned to look at Puppy, but he spoke in a very firm voice and said, "Do you mind not staring at me, kid!" And Puppy being who he is, could not look away. I touched Puppy's arm to redirect him at me and said, "No, don't look." I swear I started to shake. I thought to myself, should I tell this man my son is autistic or that he is only interested in the cigarette, nothing personal about him? Would the man care? Then I thought, this man could care less if he spoke to Puppy that way, it wouldn't matter. So I hurried to finish and grabbed Puppy's hand and walked inside the store.

Once inside I took Puppy aside, away from other customers. He spoke first. "Mom, why was that man angry?" This was a perfect time and example to teach Puppy not to stare at people. He does it often. But I don't mind because I know that his brain is wired to use pictures and by staring he is taking a mental picture. I had already begun to coach him not to stare because other people are not comfortable with him looking at them. I explained all this to him again and waited for him to calm down before continuing with our trip to get a movie and some Icee drinks.

Even after we were driving away from the store, he was looking around for the man. I did too, but only to see if I could find him in a car that I could later be able to recognize it on our future visits to the store. I didn't have any luck though. I'll just have to be more careful. I don't want to go through another incident like this one. I hope no one else has to either. Still just thinking about the man makes me wonder if I can protect Puppy quick enough and keep him safe. This unpleasant incident probably won't be the last and that worries me.

One Gold and One Silver

I've been worn out by the sun this week. I'm so glad it's Friday. But let me back up and let you know why I spent time in the sun.

On Wednesday and Thursday of this week, I took time off from work to attend the Special Olympics. This was Puppy's fourth competition. The games were rained out two years ago or it would have been his fifth year. Anyway, this year he was participating in the 50 yard dash and the standing long jump.

I was worried about the choices because Puppy has put on a little weight this year. I wasn't sure why the coaches would pick an event like the standing long jump for a student as heavy as Puppy. The only plus to this was that he had previously competed in this event both four and five years ago (in a leaner body, hehe). And as for running, last year he surprised me when he did the four person relay and ran 100 yards!

So to be brief, the opening ceremonies started at 10 A.M. instead of the usual 9 A.M. Then, they decided to present awards to school officials, politicians, and law enforcement which pushed the games back another hour or so. Once that was over, we found out that they changed the location of the relays from the South end of the field to the North end. Several runners were scratched from Puppy's school and other campuses because of the change. But after a long morning, and now 1 P.M., Puppy finally got his turn and ran his 50 yard dash against three other students and placed second for a Silver medal. He was excited and happy to have the day of events end. So was I...I got more Vitamin D than I wanted.

On Thursday, the officials and judges took their time arriving at their prospective posts and had the kids waiting until 9:30 A.M. to get started at the standing long jump event. Puppy's turn came up at around 10:15 A.M. and two other students on his team were no-shows, so it was only him and one other student competing against each other. He really tried his best and was successful to win the Gold! The only sad part was it took another hour of waiting to get to the presentation of the medals.

Puppy was proud of his wins and enjoyed the party and dance after the end of the Olympics. Another year, another successful participation. I didn't mention any problems with behavior because Puppy loves to be outdoors and he was at his best and in a calm state of mind on both dates. Congratulations, Puppy!

Thank You Javier

Have you ever had a moment when out of nowhere someone says something at just the right time? I had one of those moments today. A dear friend e-mailed me the following story. Thank you Javier. After last night's episode with Puppy, and this morning's continuation of it, this reminded me of how blessed I am. I don't know who wrote it, but I hope they don't mind that I pass it along.

A Blue Rose

Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox. So off I went.

I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout counter, only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man who appeared to be about sixteen-years-old. I wasn't in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, "Mommy, I'm over here."

It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged and also startled as he turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, "Hey Buddy, what's your name?"

"My name is Denny and I'm shopping with my mother," he responded proudly.

"Wow," I said, "that's a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name is Steve."

"Steve, like Stevarino?" he asked. "Yes," I answered.. "How old are you Denny?"

"How old am I now, Mommy?" he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle.

"You're fifteen-years-old Denny; now be a good boy and let the man pass by."

I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement, because he was the center of someone's attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.

Denny's mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn't even look at him, much less talk to him.

I told her that it was my pleasure and then I said something I have no idea where it came from, other than by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow, and pink roses in God's Garden; however, "Blue Roses" are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and distinctiveness. You see, Denny is a Blue Rose and if someone doesn't stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with their kindness, then they've missed a blessing from God.

She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked, "Who are you?"

Without thinking I said, "Oh, I'm probably just a dandelion, but I sure love living in God's garden."

She reached out, squeezed my hand and said, "God bless you!" and then I had tears in my eyes.

May I suggest, the next time you see a BLUE ROSE, don't turn your head and walk off. Take the time to smile and say Hello. Why? Because, by the grace of GOD, this mother or father could be you. This could be your child, grandchild, niece or nephew. What a difference a moment can mean to that person or their family.

From an old dandelion! Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel!"

Oh what a night

Just a few minutes ago, I went into Puppy's room and watched him sleeping. He looked so calm, so innocent, and I couldn't look away. This precious child is totally dependent on me. I took a deep breath and prayed for patience, strength, understanding and guidance.

It was a night like many before, but luckily not one that comes too often these days. Puppy was focused on his wallet like an alcoholic with his liquor bottle. And I'm trying to paint it ugly because it felt that way, too. It hurts me to think that these are only words coming from me, and yet Puppy was very much like that alcoholic needing another drink. His mind can only spotlight on one thing...a wallet. Without his wallet he cannot function. Life around him is second to the wallet.

I won't go into the details of the evening because I'm irritated, angry with what someone told Puppy today that caused his behavior to escalate to the level it did. Some days I wish I could put a bubble around him and anyone wanting to talk to him has to go through me first, tell me what the conversation will be, and simply then, if I consent, that person may be allowed to enter the bubble. I'm not saying this because I want to protect him. I say it because some people are complete idiots.

This might not make any sense to anyone. Maybe at another date I'll sit down to write about what actually happened. But in the end, I really only want to tell Puppy that I love him so much and I'm trying to teach and guide him as best as I can, hoping that I don't screw up along the way. I think Puppy secretly knows this.

Hang in there

Many, many thanks to Erin at Minx Design for creating my web page. Erin, I simply love it and would never have been able to do a job as amazing as the one you did for Puppy and me.

To my faithful followers, I'll be working on setting up a facebook page as well, hopefully also with Erin's help (because I tried and failed).

So be patient and I hope you enjoy my new website as much as I do.