Shattered thoughts

Shattered were my thoughts from yesterday's blog. I guess I spoke too soon and jinxed things.

It started with the morning routine going fine, until I waved good-bye to him as he left on the school bus; came to pick up dishes at the kitchen, and noticed he had not taken his medications.

I called the teacher to make her aware of this and to please watch for any unusual mood swings. I kept my phone close all day. Whew! No calls from school. Turns out he seems to have done well both at school and at daycare.

I suppose he was just waiting for me. Waiting to be himself and waiting to show his true colors at home. Yes, I'm more than certain other parents know what I'm talking about. Puppy comes home after a pleasant drive and, bam! He walks in the door and those mood swings I was hoping to avoid came pouring out.

Puppy was upset. I don't know what triggered this anger. He really didn't give me much notice. But it was here and loud. Puppy was angry and his first outlet is cussing. I see him and he looks like a lion with his chest out and shoulders back and the look on his face is not one I like. I do worry, but my worries are not the same as other times. I am fully aware of how this dance is going to go. He is mimicking what he's seen and this anger is not an actual emotion he is experiencing. I know this is not easy to follow, but stay with me.

My guess is Puppy is home and already bored. So his mind begins to wonder. He sees the computer station in the hallway and is angered that I have put a password on it that prevents him from using it. And if you are reading between the lines, I had to do this to keep him from searching websites he should not be watching. He discovered that he can type a word by sounding it out and Google will correct his spelling. Wow!

Puppy has even learned how to search Google on my iPhone. But even more surprising, he has learned how to delete his searches. Yep, he's very observant. He saw me clear it only once.

And the moments go by with him screaming and hitting his head and punching a wall (no hole this time) and the only thing that angers him more is me ignoring him. But this is also the only thing that makes him calm down enough to regain my attention. His apologies follow and he is calm without any serious injury. My patience has paid off. Our evening is back to quiet and pleasant. I can get used to this. And even though this calmness is not always here, it is here enough to enjoy each other's company. Gotta love Puppy. He's unique, he's Puppy.

Picking up off the floor

Yup, he did it again. Puppy had asked to go across the street to keep the old man company while he worked on his truck. I get so tired of arguing with him that I allowed for a five minute visit and no longer. It seems that five minutes was just long enough for him to search his surroundings and find exactly what he was looking for...cigarettes. But these were not just any cigarettes, they were those metal ones that come in screw parts to make one, probably for persons either trying to quit or wanting to smoke indoors while avoiding the smoke, I don't know.

So he had them in his pockets for about one hour on Monday. He could no longer keep the secret to himself and came to tell me, "Mom, can I talk to you?" I always worry what surprise is going to follow this question. He's a bright kid and begins to explain that they are not real cigarettes and that the man gave them to him. And this smart child makes sure he keeps them hidden in his room while revealing this information to avoid me taking them from him. I convince him that I have no clue what he's talking about and would like to see them. He brings them to me and of course I give him a speech I've repeated so many times before. I clearly see he's not handing them over, they are now his prized possessions. Remember that he is observant and mimics everything, so ripping them out of his hand or screaming and shouting are not the way to go here. I coach him to give them up without success. So our evening routine continues and he is finally in bed.

Tuesday morning he rises with energy and has at least taken my advice not to take them to school. He knows that unwanted behavior will remove him from the classroom on Thursday while they have their Christmas party.  While having breakfast we discuss all the negatives about the cigarettes and by some miracle he decides to comply and he throws the cigarettes in the kitchen trashcan right before the bus arrives to take him to school. What a huge relief it was for me. The sweet smell of success is actually a dirty stinky one.

Knowing my son like I do; I waited for him to leave and went to retrieve them from the trashcan. Their smell is strong and I put them in a plastic zipper bag. I take them with me with the intentions of throwing them away, but not before I take a picture...just for you guys. :)

He had taken off the wrap of one so that it wouldn't look like a cigarette, he thinks things through sometimes.

Now to continue about how well I know my son. We come home last night and he's pacing around the kitchen. Instead of going upstairs to change, I suspect he's up to no good, and I begin washing dishes. Puppy starts to get anxious and even asks me why I'm not going upstairs. Since I'm not leaving he decides to be the most helpful child and asks if he can throw out the trash for me, and of course I let him. I gave him a few minutes and when he didn't return I went to find him emptying the contents on the driveway next to the outdoor trashcan. He's usually nervous when doing mischievous acts and is constantly looking around for someone to see who is watching him. After a minute Puppy saw me standing there. He started cussing like a sailor and told me to "get the f*** out of here" and some other pretty words. I assured him I wasn't going anywhere and was going to wait until he cleaned up all his mess. Puppy continued to empty and search the contents of the bag until it was empty. He was getting even more angrier and confused.  It was escalating and we were outdoors for the whole neighborhood to hear his screaming echos, just perfectly. I saw how determined he was to find them and was prepared to throw out all the contents of the large outdoor trashcan to find them. I told him he didn't find them because I had taken them out and threw them at a convenient store trashcan. I could see he was angry, but glad he didn't have to dig anymore. He gave me a few more selective words and we came inside to clean up. He cried and sought comfort and sympathy because his plan and his needs were not met. I hugged him and consoled him all the time asking him to jump in the shower and wash off all the germs from the trash. It only took about 30 minutes this time and he was showering. The entire evening went by with only a couple of soft hits to the walls with his head. Threats really, but no major tantrums, yea!

So what happened next? He switched his attention to his biceps. And again, after a lengthy talk about muscles he finally marched himself upstairs to bed. I was so tired after all the drama, that I actually slept like a baby.

Boys and biceps

I am skipping on my list and jumping to Number 10 to discuss Puppy and his biceps.  I actually wrote this on November 10 in my journal during my without-Internet-days and thought I might share.

It's Saturday and today's already been a "wow" day.  Puppy is obsessing with his biceps. I can only imagine he has seen someone, maybe his coach or someone else whom has large biceps. He's so observant and of course he mimics what he sees. Today and most of this past week it has been muscles and biceps.  I got a few pictures of him doing just that, too. The only way to keep him from putting a rubber band around his upper-arm is to find another solution.

Well, I came up with putting scotch tape on the fatty part of the arm to emphasize the bicep.  It did the trick for him but I'm also hoping that the pain from removing the tape will leave a lasting impression...enough to not want to do it again.

Puppy seems to find it difficult to accept my advice because I'm "a girl".  It might be my own fault. I've used this excuse before whenever I wanted to avoid a subject or discussion.  This smart child has learned to turn things around an throw it back at me, ha ha.

Anyway, he's calm and liking his bicep (only the right arm) and has gone outdoors to show off his arm to Cody.

I found some pictures of the first days when he was crumbling paper balls and putting them under his sleeves, and of the the tape on his arms.






How can you stop him from doing something like this when you see that smile?

 

Just saying

Let me start by saying, “This weekend wore me out.” I know some of you who know me and even spent time with me this weekend won’t understand. You’ll think that I took Puppy to my parents’ house and he did just fine, so why am I complaining and whining? It’s what happens behind closed doors and in our own home, and in our drives to and from here and there that are exhausting, stressful, tiring, worrisome, and even overwhelming.

Puppy has been having some strange behaviors lately. I’m blaming it a several things. One, his summer school class had to share a classroom with another group of students, so distraction and new observations took place for those four weeks. Two, even though he’s back with a familiar daycare, his routine was changed.  Three, the end of summer school was this past Thursday.  Four, he just now got the idea that he won’t go to school for a several days, but it’s actually about 6-7 weeks, I haven’t checked the school calendar for the return date. Five, going through puberty and being a teenager suck. Six, the heat and multiple days of 100 degrees as an average has not allowed him to spend those outdoor hours like he wants.  And seven, he had lower braces put in on Friday, too.

His observation skills are always at their best. So remember when I said he was recording bad words into his Mp3 a few weeks ago? Now he’s constantly saying bad words any chance he gets, any little disagreement with him triggers the mouth to spill the colorful words in both languages until he gets tired or causes self injury and distracts himself. There’s no such thing as time out because he’s outgrown it and doesn’t comply. I don’t spank him for fear he will repeat the actions since he mimics everything. And I kept myself from slapping him a million times because I know that’s abuse, plus he has braces, I see images in my head of the damage that a slap can do.  Spanking and slaps were okay when I was growing up, but now its considered abuse. Just saying.

Puppy is used to having his wallet taken away whenever he has unwanted behavior. So now he just puts it in my nightstand drawer whenever he misbehaves. He doesn’t even wait for me to ask for it. Then after an hour or longer, maybe even a day goes by, when he’s calmed down and, apologized he goes to retrieve it.

And the braces…since he had the lower braces put in place this last Friday – in almost three days Puppy has managed to wiggle his tongue in between his teeth and the wire that is on the brackets and pulled the wire out of place about nine times; and counting. Aside from learning how to put the wire back into place without light, but rather by touch, I have also learned another lesson; no more dental visits on Fridays. Just saying.

The repeating, the repeating, the repeating. Not only was Puppy repeating the foul language, he was repeating his request for hugs to Ms. H all week long. He was repeating he was going to behave because he wants presents and a birthday party in two weeks. He was repeating, "Where's Cody?" (our dog) a gazillion times.  Need I say more? Don't ask me to repeat this, please.

Today, Sunday, we woke up later than usual, which was no surprise since we went to bed at 1:30 A.M. the night before. So we stayed home and he was so anxious to leave and go somewhere, usually to my parents' so he can be outdoors. The stress of being home makes Puppy go stir crazy sometimes. Being bored caused him to cuss and then made him look for ways to upset and anger me. He went to make his cigarette box and paper cigarettes. I still pat myself on the back at how easily I can have the upper hand on knowing what he's doing when he thinks he's being so secretive. It always shocks him when I mention I know what he did. This happened twice on just Sunday alone.  He threw all his paper stuff away and apologized like always, and life went on. And we did finally go to my parents' in the mid-afternoon.

So yes, it was a long rough weekend whenever Puppy and I spent our quality time together. But actually, to be more specific, it was tantrum after tantrum and maybe a meltdown too during the last couple of weeks. I just didn't feel like writing about tantrums because it seems like I'm re-living them.  Just saying.

The toes have it

My last post mentioned something about mimicking, and an older post He hasn't stopped talking since also explains how mimicking is just one of many characteristics autism has given Puppy. 

But putting all that aside, I was thinking we are due for a "cute” mimicking posting.  This is not the first time Puppy does this.  But this weekend, while Ms. H was doing Puppy’s laundry she found this…

Puppy decided it was time to color his toe nails and took the marker to them. I suppose it pretty much has the same effect. 

I wasn't able to get a recent picture to match the socks, but like I said…it’s not the first time he’s used markers on his toes and I knew this posting wouldn't be complete without the follow-up picture. So here’s an older picture from a few months ago. I couldn't resist taking the picture as he slept.

I asked him back then why he had painted his toe nails, and he answered, “Everyone has them colored.” I could only imagine that he sees mine and other women’s toes and hasn’t made the connection that men’s toe nails are not colored. When I tried to explain to him that boys don’t color their toe nails, he just said it was okay and he liked them like that. So be it. 

First baseball practice

So one of the support groups I belong to has decided to create a summer activity for our kids but with the help of a councilman, she has received some funding to make it a citywide event for any and all special needs children between the ages of 3 to 21 years to join. Registration was two weeks ago and I saw about 20-30 children were signed up. Practices are scheduled for late June, but there was discussion about making two practice teams, one for those who live on the North side of the city and one for those on the South side. So to get feedback and a division of children and families, there was a quick meeting Wednesday evening at the park not too far from our subdivision.

Batter up! 

I picked up Puppy from after school care and hurried over to the park. There were already about 15 kids there and one coach.  They had set up and were practicing batting and running. Of course we get there and Puppy is all about not wanting to do anything, just sit on the bench and watch. He was complaining about the heat and too many people being there. Shortly thereafter the kids came off the field to take a water break. At this time I talk to him asking him to go give it a try so he can tell his teacher about it the next day. He finally gives in and goes to try batting, and he did great, ran to first and the rest went equally well and smoothly.

    

Puppy makes it to First base.

Second base

Third base...

       

and he makes it home.
Way to go Puppy!

When he was back at the bench he started to get fussy and asking if Ms. H would be coming to meet us at the park. I'm guessing he wanted someone else to see him play to make it valid. I said yes, and all of the sudden he says he can't stand her and doesn't want her there. Don't worry it's not the first time he does this, but it's one of the few times he does it in public. She gets there and he comes close and tells me to ask her to leave and that he's going to have a tantrum if she gets near him. I can't help but roll my eyes because I know this is already escalating into something bigger. Sure enough, he tries to bang his head on the fencing unknowingly that cyclone fencing basically bounces back, so he was disappointed. I looked at him and he started mumbling bad words...and I said, "Let's go."

When he was back at the bench he started to get fussy and asking if Ms. H would be going to meet us at the park. I'm guessing he wanted someone else to see him play to make it valid. I said yes, and all of the sudden he says he can't stand her and doesn't want her there. Don't worry it's not the first time he does this, but it's one of the few times he does it in public. She gets there and he comes close and tells me to ask her to leave and that he's going to have a tantrum if she gets near him. I can't help but roll my eyes because I know this is already escalating into something bigger. Sure enough, he tries to bang his head on the fencing unknowingly that cyclone fencing basically bounces back, so he was disappointed. I looked at him and he started mumbling bad words...and I said, "Let's go."

The entire walk to the truck was just so peachy with him screaming foul language in Spanish. Luckily, no one paid any attention because each parent had their own hands full watching over their own child. Ms. H followed us to the parking lot and we headed home. On route he was still screaming that he didn't want Ms. H to go to our house. The bad words were so colorful with him taking turns in English and Spanish. Then he mentioned he was repeating words another ex-classmate usually says. So I called him by that child's name and he was furious. So now he's banging his fist on the door window, on the dashboard, on the arm rest, and finally it ends with him biting his hand. However, it must have been a really strong bite because he started to cry and yelled it hurt. Keep in mind he has braces and it only makes it easier for him to break skin.

We had made it home. Once he was a little calmer, he looked at me and apologized. He wanted sympathy for his injury. He leaned his head on my shoulder and said he was nervous. What would his teacher say when she sees his hand? What will his consequences be tomorrow? So much goes through his mind in such a short period. I can't imagine the mental struggles he must go through all day.

Of course he then started up again once we got inside the house because Ms. H was now with us. But he just stormed up to his room, closed the door and stayed there talking to himself. This lasted about 30 minutes, but only because I decided to open the door to check on him.  He had been pacing back and forth, nothing more, but he was nervous and he was about to start escalating again. We sat down together and I tried my best to explain that we can't change the past (he doesn't understand past though), so move forward and don't repeat the biting and swearing. He was probably just satisfied with the fact that I did not express anger. Maybe I should have, but everyday teaches me and reminds me that he mimics and he would indeed mimic my anger if he saw it, maybe not today but someday. He politely gave me a kiss on the cheek and started making his way to the shower and began his evening routines, then a sweet "Good night, Ms. H., I love you." and "Good night, mom, I love you."  Another day is now behind us.

Obsession presssures

We are pretty much back to square one. The pressure of not having a wallet has definitely caught up to him. Puppy has gone back to making paper wallets on a daily basis, then realizing that he shouldn't be using paper, so he rips it up and throws it away. Then he's walking around like a very lost soul who's purpose is missing.

The need, the obsession continues. Notice the rip in his back pocket. He's torn three pairs to get the "look" he needs. Puppy mimics people and actions and words. So he's gone to mimicking my brother and the use of his wallet and the torn jeans.  He tries so much to get through the day. He manages to make it through class and after school, but once he comes home there is a lack of structure and he breaks down. He will hide in his room or at the computer desk and quietly make himself another paper wallet. Once he is able to get his cards into the make believe wallet, he is whole again. He goes to bed with the wallet at his side. I only hope he has peaceful sleeps, but I can imagine him dreaming scenes where he has the prefect wallet in his back pocket and him showing it off to anyone whom will give him the time and attention.

 

Well, as it goes...Puppy has been standing or sitting next to me all morning asking for me to get dressed and take him to Walmart so that he can go buy a velcro wallet with the $3.22 he has managed to save and/or find in drawers or even the ground (pennies from Heaven). I've sent him away with the intentions of making a trip to Walmart. But only if I can finish watching my Redbox movie that was started last night, as well as getting one more load of laundry done before we can consider going to Walmart. He's content and has walked away to give me a little space.  I'm attaching pictures to give visuals of his paper wallets. Oh Puppy, you put so much effort into them then throw them away. What a simple yet terrible obsession.

                                                                

Ignore the ID in the wallet. It's my old driver's license. It has come in handy when Puppy has gotten lost at Target and then at Walgreen"s. He has memorized my cellular number and knows that the store personnel can call me to him if he gets lost. But mostly, I'm glad he's learned never to go outside the store without me. Look for me first, because I would never leave him behind.

   

New morning routine

This second half of the school year brought about some changes in Puppy's behavior. I gathered that the influence is coming from his bus monitor. Although she seems to be a kind person, her actions have hurt Puppy instead of helping him.

Puppy has taken school bus transportation since he was 4 years old. A bus has picked him up and dropped him off for every school day. On very rare occasions I have taken him to school myself, like when the monitor calls to say they are running late, or once they got a flat. I'm a working mom, and I need to be at work on time, so I do what I have to and dropping him off at school only happens a few times a year.

But getting back to Puppy's current bus monitor. This is her second year with him and she probably thinks she has him all figured out. I assume she may feel this because he mimics her words and phrases. Her acts of counseling may have been used to calm him down while on the bus ride; but she has caused him to ignore others like his teacher and myself. By repeating catch phrases, he now locks up during his tantrums because he is focused on remembering her words and does not listen to anyone around him.

How can I be sure they are her words? She doesn't speak English. All of Puppy's words are in Spanish now when he talks to himself as a calming (stimming) act. Whenever he has a tantrum, gets upset over me telling him 'no', or similar moments, Puppy starts to quote the bus monitor. His favorite is "Que pasa?" or what's happening? It bugs the heck out of me and truly pushes my buttons whenever I hear him using her words. I always speak to him in English. He is lucky to have learned both languages, but there is a time and a place for each.

So after speaking with his teacher, I have taken the initiative to change our morning routine and I have started taking Puppy to school and dropping him off. He still has to ride on the bus in the afternoons, but I hope that less is better. We are going to give it a try. Only two days so far with our new schedule and already I see him happier in the mornings on our ride. He no longer has time to focus on his wallet while waiting, because we are moving, moving, moving all morning long as we get dressed, ready and drive to school. And the bus was always late to begin with and it was making me late for work. So both of us are enjoying our ride in the mornings now.

And then it happened...

It had been a night just like most other nights. Puppy and I come home, check the fridge for something to eat. We eat supper, then do homework or watch a little T.V. and he heads off to take his shower before bedtime. But something different happened today.

Look in the fridge, check; sit down to eat together, check; make small conversation, check; clean up after supper, check, and so on.

After a few minutes, Puppy then comes up to me and says, "Mom, I'm behaving so good today?" I answered, "Of course you are." And then it happened -- My son leaned into me, put his arms around me, and held me tight for what was maybe three seconds! He stands back up and gives me a big grin.

There it was...my son's FIRST HUG! Never before had I received a hug from my son. Even when he's coached for one, his arms don't come up to embrace, he just leans in and I do the hugging. I always hoped he would eventually just learn to mimic when the time was right. Oh, the praise that he received and the joy I expressed made him bring his hands up to his chest and his fingers moved up and down, back and forth against his thumbs, as if to remove dirt or crumbs from them. This is his way of showing excitement, similar to hand flapping.

Wow! I'm still so moved by it. Some might say they have seen him hug, but no...this was HIS hug. It wasn't coached, asked for, or initiated by me. It was all him.

I know, I'm babbling now, but no one can imagine how thrilled I am this evening. It gave me a natural high for at least an hour. But re-living the moment will be with me forever.

My son is 12 years old and is a high-functioning autistic. Emotions are difficult for him to understand. We have managed to teach him the basics like happy and sad, but the others, are not so easy. But he has come a long way. Today was proof of this.

After you read this, if you have a child...give him or them the biggest hug ever.

He hasn't stopped talking since

I was going through my twitter postings by others and came across this link:

http://www.especialmatch.com/index.php/my-blog/whattsamattau.html

What caught my attention to this link and blog? Well its story hit home and it brought back memories. Happy thoughts ran through my head. I can clearly remember when Puppy was 4 years old and just learning to speak. I would point at objects and say their name several times until he let out a whisper of something that sounded similar to my words.

Whenever I’d pick him up from daycare, I’d do a routine of asking him how his day went, what did he eat, and what did he do? He would mostly stare out the window from his car seat view in silence. But then one day he said, “T.V.” and “play”, and I recall a grin on his face. I promise it was as if he knew we were having a conversation. Or…maybe it was the big deal I made because now I was the one repeating his words.

We slowly began to repeat each others words more often. Very much like the blog I added by link above, I would say, “Good morning, Puppy” and he would repeat it back to me. He’d speak my words like, “you want apple?” and point at himself to let me know he wanted an apple. Puppy did this so well that he developed a talent of copying or mimicking.

One day in class, at 5 years old, his teacher told me she was asking a student to stop screaming and finally turned around to find her sitting quietly in her chair. Then she turned to find my son mimicking her scream in the same tone and pitch as the other little girl often did. She was surprised, but then learned that he was doing something he learned off each student in his class, she just hadn’t noticed it before that day.

It didn’t stop there, but in a way I have to be thankful it didn’t. He has learned through repeating and mimicking both words and actions. Puppy is a visual learner and it helps him to do exactly as you need him to do. Except for one problem, the poor behaviors also transmit to him in the same manner. If only I could block the bad behaviors from every reaching him. It is just wishful thinking on my part.
Nonetheless, Puppy is doing wonderfully these days and I can see that the good behaviors are overriding the poor ones. Plus, we are also having many conversations, too. Something my pessimistic self didn’t expect was going to happen.

Note added after blog was posted: Years later, I have learned that some of this verbal repeating has a name: echolalia. And about 85% of children with autism use this as a means to learn verbal communication.

A Broken Record

I wrote in Puppy’s notebook today, and told the teacher that I feel like a broken record. However, this song is one I don’t mind repeating on a daily basis. For those that don’t understand, it’s similar to pressing the repeat button on the MP3 or CD player. My song: Puppy is improving everyday with more positive behaviors.

Anytime that Puppy is displaying any negative behavior, we try to correct it by first telling him what was wrong, but it does not go without giving him the replacement behavior. For example, if he is speaking in a loud tone, I will put my hand up to show him to stop what he is doing. I will tell him he is talking loudly and that I am close to him so he can use a softer voice. Then I will give him the simple example of talking loud like was doing, as well as the softer tones that are more pleasant. We might laugh during the lesson, but that would be only to reinforce that it was not a serious poor behavior and that I am not angry with him. And life goes on. I’ll probably be doing this for several weeks, but Puppy is already showing great progress.

On a side note, I can't do this alone; I have support from family, friends and school staff. It is taking many caring people to raise my child. I'm lucky to have each one in our lives.

Back to School 2011

Last week was Puppy’s first three days back to classes after the long holiday break.  Each day was a bit of a struggle for him to get back to his routine and classmates.  Well as it appears Puppy had too much time away from school and classroom rules that he wasn’t able to keep his focus on the instructions during class.  His focus was on his obsession with his wallet.  The wallet is on his mind 24/7.  He will touch his pocket to reassure himself the wallet is there; he will take it out and look at the outside cover; he will pull out all the cards and place them in order over and over; and he will open and shut it over and over to hear the slap of the tri-fold sides close to prove to himself the wallet is not over stuffed with cards, pictures or receipts.

Last Friday he was at P.E. class and playing with his wallet.  When the coach tried to get his attention, Puppy got upset and flipped him the bird.  He picked this gesture up last year and has been pretty comfortable using it anytime he is bothered.  Well, his homeroom teacher felt that the disrespect to his coach was reason enough to take the wallet away from him.  I would agree with her as I have many times before when using this tactic to follow through with ABA therapy.  But what I didn’t agree with was that she decided to keep his wallet over the weekend. 

Friday evening Puppy had a slight meltdown on the way home after I picked him up from daycare.  I usually ask him about his day and he began telling me that he didn’t have his wallet and continued asking me why the teacher kept it.  It was too many days for him to accept and manage without the wallet in his possession.   Even though Puppy was able to tell me step by step the reasons he didn’t have his wallet, he still did not accept it and was again filled with anger at the teacher instead of trying to understand that he had done something disrespectful and improper.  Puppy is observant of others and flipping the bird is an action he’s seen way too many times from other students.  He also sees that these other students are not reprimanded for their actions.  It’s difficult to explain some things to him and some more than others.

We are in for a rough weekend.

Claire

School Illnesses

My son has autism, and I identify his ability to mimic to be his gift.  I believe every child has a gift or talent that they do well, and mimicking is Puppy’s gift.  My son is also rather demanding when it comes to receiving attention.  However, he chooses who he wants undivided attention from and seeks it.

So far we have had a good start on the school year without any major illnesses that have kept Puppy home.  I hope I'm not jinxing us.  However, yesterday, a classmate of his wasn't feeling well and threw up in the afternoon.  The teacher sent me a note home letting me know that Puppy was also not feeling well so that I could monitor him.

Even though it is Mrs. B's first year with my son as her student, we have spoken on several occasions and she is fully aware of the mimicking.  Her first intuition was that he’s having the same reaction to lunch as another student in Puppy’s class.  When she noticed that Puppy had not thrown up, or had real stomach pains--she decided that he was using the illness as a sign for attention.  She allowed him to put his head on his desk and rest, but waited for another sign to help her determine if he was or wasn't pulling her leg.  Luckily she was on to him and he forgot about his pain as quickly as it appeared.

This morning as Puppy and I were getting ready, he started whining that his stomach hurt and that maybe he needed to stay home or at grandmas. Everyone knows that there's nothing better than getting attention from grandparents.  He was on a roll, but I read him like a book and sent him to school.

It was around 10:30 A.M. when I received a call from the school nurse.  I thought to myself, "Here we go." Yes, he was complaining of a stomach ache and the nurse told me he threw up and I need to go pick him up.  I told her someone would be there shortly.  Then I called my mom and asked her if it was something she was able to do, pick him up and babysit him all day.  She said it wasn’t a problem but it was going to be a short while before she could pick him up and of course I said he’s fine, he’s being watched over by the nurse.

Just as I hang up, Mrs. B is texting to let me know he’s not feeling well, but she’s suspicious that he may be trying to go home because he saw the other student do it yesterday.  I agreed since that was Puppy’s conversation with me this morning.  She told me how he was forcing himself to vomit and could only spit up a little juice from breakfast.  We agreed that it would be better to keep him in school and monitor him since there wasn’t any fever or other symptoms present.  We cleared it with the school nurse and he was a little rebellious but calmed down after he noticed nothing was working to get the teacher’s undivided attention.  He finished off the day at school.
Puppy is now sleeping peacefully.  Amen.

Claire

Influence

Puppy had a pretty good day yesterday. His teacher sends me daily communication and noted he was focused and participated in P.E. today without complaints.

After school he is taken by the school bus to a daycare/learning center. There he mostly plays, colors, watches videos, but only because he's already had a full day of schoolwork, and we do homework together at home in the evenings.

Puppy's progress report at daycare was not so good. The director mentioned he was in deep thought several times and sat alone. When she'd try to get his attention, he'd make noises or grunts and wave his hand at her to leave him alone.

When I picked him up from daycare and we were on our way home, I asked what was bothering him. It took a while but he finally told me he had been thinking about a former classmate whom he saw at a field trip just this week. This wouldn't normally be anything of an issue, except that this particular classmate was probably the worst influential Puppy has ever met.

How can this be? Well, this boy also has autism and unfortunately is part of a dysfunctional family with no dad, mom is bi-polar, sister is a trouble-maker, and grandma holds them together as best she can. Living this rough life, the little boy has learned many behaviors and words that are unfavorable, and you guessed it...now Puppy knows those same words and behaviors. But Puppy also knows it's wrong to use foul language or flip the bird even though he has no idea what he's saying and is using the wrong finger. Puppy's good day turned sad when he felt the need to mumble some curse words at the children in daycare, but luckily the mumbled words went unnoticed, except to himself.

Yep, Puppy is easily influenced and everything he says and does is learned, nothing is instinct to him. I wish I could learn how to remove and replace all the bad with only good. Any suggestions?

To end the day's story, we talked about his behavior and copying others. We had a delicious supper and sent him off to bed feeling better about himself.