What is best?

Well, followers…the weekend came and went. Leaky water pipe was repaired, laundry was washed and put away, TV shows were watched, and visit to my parents’ was made. All in all, we had a nice weekend. Yeah, there was some grumpiness and grunts and attention seeking actions that also took place, but that is all considered normal or routine in our home.

In my last posting I mentioned attending a two-day conference on autism. During the morning break an opportunity to ask questions presented itself, so I combed my hair behind my ears, ironed my blouse with my hands and went to the front of the room to seek knowledge.

My question was about something that is currently happening in our home. Puppy’s attention has been absorbed by wallets for the last year or so. He looks at it, turns it over, puts cards in their place, then removes the cards and places them in their slots again, then squeezes the edges of the wallet to make it as slim as possible, etc. There are too many actions to list here, but in my eyes, my son has an obsession with wallets. Nonetheless, I went up to one of the presenters and asked if she had any advice on obsessions as I quickly described what Puppy had been doing all this time; and in a most confident voice she told me I was wrong. It is not an obsession, but rather an action he does to keep himself isolated from his peers and others in general. This self-isolation is exactly what I should try to keep him away from doing. She even suggested that I find other kids (or relatives like nephews) to show Puppy their wallets for comparisons and as a shared interest to bring Puppy out of his isolation.

My surprise to her advice sent me to my son’s teacher the very next day to repeat what was suggested to me. I was comforted to find that my son’s teacher and I remain on the same page to continue with the practices and initiating ABA therapy as it relates to the wallet. We have been working toward having him pull away this attention from the wallet and leaving it in his pocket as long as he can focus on his daily school activities. If he is unable to concentrate, then the wallet is placed in his backpack until the end of the day.

Bottom line – sometimes you just have to follow your gut and do what you feel is best for your child.

Just one question: How does one know if they are doing what is best for their child?

Claire

My First Autism Conference

This past week was special for me. In the past I have been to local support group meetings, read articles, followed my imaginary friends on twitter and/or facebook, as well as other bloggers and their websites. But there's something to be said for having a person in front of you whom knows exactly what you are going through and can answer your questions plus give you examples, on the spot.

Our local support group sponsored their 10th annual conference that was over a two day period. The first day featured Emily and Lisa Iland. A mother and sister to a person with autism. They spoke about their lives and experiences with Tom, and how they had conducted their own research studies on autism. Their presentation was informative. I asked them both a couple of questions and was surprised to learn that I was approaching a few of my son's issues in a manner that was intended for another type of characteristic. I have already discussed this with Puppy's teacher and we are going to revisit this more carefully.

The second day of the conference had a special guest speaker, Eustacia Cutler. Yes, she's probably the most talked about mom in the autism community since the movie about her and her daughter came to HBO and Hallmark last year, Temple Grandin. She spoke so eloquently about her life and that of her family. She is a wonderful storyteller. I felt myself lost in a trance as I was listening to her every word. She made an strong impact on me. I'm not even sure why. I pray that others will not have to go through the difficult struggles she did because of the lack of studies, diagnosis or education on autism as when she first learned of her daughter's disability.

During the afternoon session of that second day, Lisa Rogers, a Behavior Specialist of San Antonio, also made a presentation. Some the techniques and therapies she spoke of I have or am already was using with Puppy. I feel we may have started a little too late, but I see the progress my son has made throughout the years. It may take a little longer, or maybe not. Only time will tell.

I am glad to have attended and learned new ideas from each of the presenters. I think that maybe I waited too long to seek help from others in our community, but now there is no turning back. Only I can be the best advocate for my son. I also promised to continue learning myself.

Claire