The good, the bad and the ugly

Titles for my posts don't always come easy, but this one did because this is exactly how our days have been lately. I suppose I'll take it from the top.

The good...  Ms. H came over the other day last week as part of our daily routines. Last week was also the final days of the regular school year. She was already looking ahead for ideas of how to keep herself and her 6 year old son occupied during the summer break and signed him up for Tae-kwon-do and swimming lessons.

Well, my ears went into alert mode and I wondered if maybe Puppy might be interested in swimming lessons, too. So, interested or not, I called up the instructor and briefly informed her he has autism and she was willing to give it a try. That's all I needed and signed him up.  Ms. H has been doing a fantastic job of watching over him in the afternoons, picking him up at my parents' after the school bus drops him off from summer school, then taking him to swimming lessons, then keeping him at her place until I get out of work. Routine is in place and all is well...so far.

The bad...  Puppy spent about an hour on Sunday at our neighbor's. Their family consists of the dad, mom, two boys and a girl, all younger than Puppy. But nonetheless, he went over like he usually does every once in a blue moon. Well he comes back and is very quiet, greets me and races upstairs to his bedroom. He was awfully quiet for a good while before coming back downstairs and then he started pacing.  He looked for a piece of paper and pencil (but a purple crayon did just fine), brought it over to me and asked, “How do you write present?” I spelled it for him and he wrote it down then walked away.  I thought to myself that he may be making a list of gifts he wants for his birthday next month. So he’s pacing and then stops next to me again. He asked me if he can show me something, and I say yes. He pulls out the piece of paper and hands it to me.

I read it and I ask him if that’s the present he wants. He whispers to me, “No mom, that’s what Mr. Segovia gave me. It’s old and he doesn’t want it, he has a new one.” I could feel my blood drain to my feet. And strangely it went rising right back up to my head in anger. But I wasn’t sure whom to be angry with, Mr. Segovia for giving Puppy something he likes or Puppy for taking it when he clearly knows he shouldn’t have one. It wasn’t easy to defend Puppy because clearly our neighbor didn’t know giving him a wallet was a no-no.

 

The ugly…  Well, every day since the first day of swimming lessons, Puppy says he doesn’t want to go swimming. But then Ms. H talks to him and convinces him to go and he does just fine.  The other ugly is the unnecessary debates we have on a daily basis both in the morning before school and in the evenings when I pick him up. Debates about why his teacher doesn’t allow him to carry anything in his pockets; about why he can’t go buy the wallet he really wants now and not wait for his birthday; about why he can’t have an itouch/ipod, everyone else has one; about why he can’t take the wallet the neighbor gave him to school; about why he doesn’t like his MP3 player so much anymore, etc., etc…

It’s not so pretty. I get headaches. I search for answers. I find none. I take it one day at a time.

A new distraction

The fact that Puppy doesn’t have a wallet these days is leaving him to look for other distractions. So he has gone back to his MP3 player after a few months of not listening to his songs. Keep in mind that he is still upset about having to substitute for his wallet. And also remember that we are experiencing some rebellious issues with the new baseball practices. With this said Puppy was using his MP3 player rather frequently and found a screen he hadn’t seen before. He asked what it was and I explained audio recordings are him talking into the MP3 to record messages and he quickly got excited. “How mom, how does it work?” I didn’t know and told him we’d have to ask one of my brothers. He wasn’t happy with that answer but went about his business as usual. Some days he patience, and this was one of them.

Then the other day he gave up on waiting and asked me again how it works. I just happened to be sitting at the computer and Googled the model to get the user’s guide. There it was; I read it several times to make sure I understood, and then tried it myself. It worked! He was thrilled to hear it work that he picked it up out of my hands and said, “Show me.”  As I was explaining it to him, he searched for a pen and asked me to write down the steps to recording his own voice. He tried it and was in awe of this small device that repeats his words. He hurried outdoors to start recording. Just before bedtime he tells me the battery had given out. It was time to recharge so I asked him to leave it on the computer desk.

  The following morning he wakes to go to school and actually doesn’t even remember about the MP3 player. Once he was off to school I went back upstairs to finish getting myself ready for work. I saw the MP3 on the desk and went to plug it in to recharge. Once I was there I sat down at the computer and went to listen to his fifty-eight (58) recordings. Most of them were accidental recordings where he wasn’t sure it was on and he’d click on the button and then turn it off. This went on for several minutes of dead air and yet there were some of him talking to the dog. Some were him talking and just too cute to delete.
 

And then there it was…yes, the reason for him being outdoors alone.  Puppy has a routine of talking to himself whenever he has unwanted behaviors. And although he was not in any trouble, he recorded himself talking in the same Spanish words he uses and then followed by some foul language. Oh I’m sure he must have thought it was cool, but he never imagined I was going to hear it. I left it there. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but it was his and he’s being a teenager, and it was private to him. I want him to bring it to me first. Then I’ll probably delete it but only after explaining it was “not cool” to record those words, even if no one else knows he did. This is another lesson to be learned at another time.

Is he listening?

Many, many times I just wonder.  How much of what I tell Puppy is he listening to?  Then I quietly laugh all by myself.  Yeah, he is listening to every word.  He simply chooses when to react or answer to my words. My son is very observant of his surroundings, this includes all that he hears be it voices or noises.

I know, this only leaves me open to give some examples.  One was just yesterday.  Last night Puppy and I attended our monthly autism support group meeting.  It was a small group of parents exchanging good conversation while Puppy was cared for in another room with other children.  Because of the interesting stories we shared, our meeting went beyond its scheduled time.  All this is fine and I have no complaints.  But waiting in the driveway at home was my sister whom had misplaced her key to enter the house.  Unfortunately, she had stressful day at work and was ready to relax and hearing we were running late was not what she wanted to hear.  On our way home I stressed to Puppy that his aunt might not be in the best of moods and he was to try and keep clear of her.  When we got home, he went to his room to get ready for his evening routines and follow through with the instructions before bedtime. He saw my sister sitting on her bed, he went up to her and softly asked her, "Are you angry?"  She simply answered, "No, I'm just tired."  He walked away calmly, smiled, squeaked in his high pitched sounds and continued with his routine.  I must say he did pretty well.  It surprised me that there were a couple of parts to my instructions and yet, he complied beautifully. These are new experiences Puppy is learning.

Another comes to mind easily.  Our mornings are not usually what I'd call hectic, but sometimes they can become stressful for me since I need to make sure Puppy is getting ready for school and taking his meds, while I am also getting myself ready for work.  So our routines start and I begin to shout down the hallway to him to get dressed, tie your shoes, brush your teeth, find your belt, put it on, etc. And like with most kids, I normally repeat myself, once, twice, three times, or more.  But then it happens...once in a while he surprises me and shows up behind me, taps me on the shoulder and says, "Mom, I'm ready."  Whew--I did my job and yes, he was listening.

But I'll finish this post with my favorite example of all.  He loves music and even insists on sleeping with the radio on all night.  He's not really particular to any specific kind of music but I influence his listening to country music because that's my favorite.  But living in a border town, the bus drivers usually tend to have Spanish/Tejano music on the bus rides. I can tell that the music moves him.  And he can sing, sing and sing if he thinks no one is around, like in the shower, for one.  Also, the schools have functions on the holidays where the special needs students have dances, and I'm told he gets up and dances. Did I mention he loves to listen to music?  So once again, yeah--he is listening, loud and clear.