In search of child care services

Sorry for not posting anything lately. My nights have been consumed by the issues of child care for Puppy.

Tonight on facebook, I met someone who was able to magically put all the pieces together for me. I still have a little researching to do on the plan, but it might work out.

I posted on one of the Autism Support Group walls asking for a little help and she came to my rescue.

Anyway, it's rather late and only Wednesday night, so I better get to sleep really soon. But I promise to write about my search, planning and results to the child care issues soon.

White Flag of Surrender

Yeah, what I meant to say in the title of that previous post was that Puppy lasted a whole day without his wallet. But after some other challenges, and after that post, he actually went two days without a wallet. That is definitely breaks his record.

I promise everyone, I am also dreaming wallets when I'm sleeping, and I might be picking up his bad habit of looking at guys' butts for a glimpse of their wallets in their back pocket. This is not good. I can remember looking at butts for other reasons, haha; but that's another story.

I raised the white flag today. Two days was a very, very long time--for both of us. I promised Puppy that if he brought home a good report from his teacher, we would go to Academy to price the wallets.

On a separate note: If any of you have ever suffered from carpal tunnel, you understand why I first made Puppy take a brief rest while the sun set. It was a hot day; I think we reached 101 degrees Fahrenheit. Also, I think I got carpo tunnel on my driving arm/hand, meaning that's what is causing it on my left arm. This is discouraging me from driving.

At Academy, we checked out the wallets, and here is where my white flag went up. It was $12.99 and less than what Puppy had already collected. So, he turned over his money to me and he has a new wallet. Yes, we went over new rules, plus he is being monitored for good behavior these next two weeks, or he will not be allowed to join his classmates on a field trip to Texas State Aquarium in Corpus Christi.

We are going to sleep so good tonight that I can't wait. The idea of watching a rented movie just went out the window. Well, he’s already in deep sleep with some heavy breathing. I’m jealous. But it’s my turn and I’ll write again soon.

Record broken

A few days ago I wrote Saving his money. That posting spoke about Puppy giving up his wallet and collecting money to buy a new wallet. Day one: he did pretty well. He was a little anxious in the morning after our agreement. He supposedly did well in class, and at daycare. We came home and it is all he talked about forever. Okay, it was really only two hours.

But then something happened. Puppy was still searching for change in drawers and stuff, and oops! He found an old wallet tossed at the back of one of the kitchen cabinets. It must have been from one of those times that I threw it just so that I could show I didn't have it in my possession; then forgot about it. Well it was too late; he had it and quickly ran upstairs to put his belongings in it.

When he came back to show it to me, we talked about the money. He was supposed to buy a new one and have none while he was raising his thirty dollars. So what were we going to do? We decided that he could keep the wallet he found, but then he was not going to get a new one. I was kind of glad. I mean, to me...Puppy was complete again. I didn't have to deal with the daily tantrums and whining about not having a wallet. We both won.

I'm going to let you all guess what happened next. Never mind, I'll tell you. Morning came.

"Mom, I don't like this wallet."

Yeah, this came after the fact that I had already written in the communication folder that we had a half good and a half bad behavior evening, but that he was fine and understood about not being able to get a new wallet because he found one. We were good.

Then he throws me that curve. Well, to keep this a little shorter...he surrenders the wallet to me after I ask him several times, "Are you sure?" I got it from him and hid it as fast as I could. It was gone. Again, he will have to raise thirty dollars to buy a new one. We are now out the door and waiting for the bus. Too much time for him to think; to think about a wallet, any wallet. He is starting to whine and then I cheer that the bus is here! Kiss, kiss, have a good day...and he's off. Whew! Now I get to go to work to rest for nine hours.

One of the support groups was sponsoring a Mother's Day Dinner tonight. I asked my sister to watch Puppy. Of course he did great with her and other family members. But I go to pick him up and the first words out of his mouth are, "Can we go to Walmart to buy a wallet?"

I'm not going to go into details about tonight. I'm exhausted just remembering about the almost two hours we had together. It was "I want", "can I have", "explain to me", etc. Puppy put up a fight and now he is sleeping like an angel. I hope he can have a little peace while he sleeps. But actually his sleeping habits should be another posting down the road.

Sweet dreams, Puppy.

Mother's Day and other holidays

The following is something I wanted to share, in relation to Mother's Day and other holidays. It was well written by Estee Klar and included in a blog by Kristina Chew, who wrote, "What I've Learned As the Mother of an Autistic Son (VIDEO) - http://tinyurl.com/3gz65dt and put on twitter by @autismbuttons (Richard Bolster). I want to make sure I give credit to everyone involved that helped me find the blog. Below is the section of her blog that caught my attention.

Kristina Chew writes:

My friend and "commadre" in Autismland, Estée Klar, sums up the pang and the love mothers of kids with disabilities may feel on holidays. She writes:

As an only child and single mother to an autistic son, I have to be honest that I sometimes find myself grumbling about holidays. I know it sounds very cynical of me, but hear me out. Another hallmark holiday can make me feel left out. Our kids are supposed to make us cards, buy us flowers, gifts and tell us how wonderful we are. Usually, there is a husband to make the kids abide if the kids are too busy playing Xbox. I remember fondly making those cards and telling my mom how much (and still do) love and appreciate her. In my case, my dad didn’t always have to remind me. Adam can’t make me a card; at least not without the help of another person. So, another holiday comes and that’s the pang....

As Mother's Day approaches, I think of the daily moments I share with Adam; how much we've been through together and how much I wanted him. I waited until my late thirties to have him. Other's have forced him to make cards and say "Happy Mother's Day mummy ... I wuv you," and he repeats it obediently, hands me the card made with construction paper and crayons. Sure, I love the card and keep them in a special box, but I know he doesn't care about it so much.

Today, he cares about the items he can make on his own volition. He cares about when I am there for him and can comfort him or love him just because. In return, I receive his voluntary hugs and kisses, his laughter, his smile, his pulling me towards him and saying my name. At night as I tuck him into his favorite blanket, he'll say in his little voice, "don't go."...

For us moms whose children cannot and may not make cards and say I love you this year, don't despair. I hear you and I'm with you. Be proud of your mothering efforts and happy that we are moms of our wonderful children. I don't know about you, but I never get the feeling that Adam doesn't love me. Just because he can’t always express it in words, or as slick as a Hallmark card, I feel ocean waves of love and appreciation every single day.

I couldn't have said it any better.

Saving his money

Today was one for the books. On our way home this evening, Puppy was complaining about the wallet he had and how he didn't like it anymore. I told him that if he didn't like it to hand it over to me and he'd be without because I was not buying him one. He said he wanted a new one from Academy Sports Store. I answered back that he could get one when he collected enough money to buy it himself. But then he asked, how much? So I threw a number out, thirty dollars.

You might be thinking that's a lot of money for a twelve year old. Not really, because I reward him for chores sometimes. And just two weeks ago my aunt gave him five dollars for receiving a perfect score on his spelling test. However, he only had two dollars in his pocket at the time of our conversation and he was feeling like it was the end of the world.

But we got home and he had emptied out my armrest and cup holders in the truck so he ran inside to set it out on the table to be counted. He had seven dollars already. To give him a little hope, I told him he could have whatever change he found around the house. Funny part about this was that I had told Puppy that four quarters make a dollar, so he went around and picked up only quarters.

Puppy worked really hard at finding lost change, or quarters, and at the end of the day he had a total of eighteen dollars. He found the place in my closet where I put my change on the shelf. I let him keep it because I most certainly never thought he'd be half way through his goal.

All this talk about money actually got away from the point I was going to discuss. Puppy had handed over his most important object to him. His wallet is a part of him. It is going to be interesting to see what happens in the days that follow. Will he stick it out and raise the money to buy his own wallet? Or will he break down and beg me to return the old wallet he had up until three hours ago? Also, what will he make his primary focus if he doesn't have his wallet to consume his thoughts?

I hope I didn't make the wrong choice by having him turn over the wallet to me, but here we go again... another lesson to learn, maybe by both Puppy and myself. I'll keep you posted.