Well, it’s been a couple of days since my last posting. And Puppy did much better with homework last night, and I wanted to cry as I watched him sitting at the dinner table, but I held back my tears.
I had written how Puppy had an anxiety attack the other night because he was stressing over what it is I was going to write to his teacher in our communication notebook. He had been disrespectful and was refusing to do his homework, and this was not good behavior.
Well, I had already texted his teacher as it was happening, so she talked to him and reminded him of the basic rules for behavior. Then she wrote to me that she had taken him aside and discussed with him the behaviors during his study time, and said he shouldn’t complain about doing homework. Although this was necessary for Puppy to understand that we do communicate with each other (Mom and Teacher), it seemed to work in both a good and a bad way.
We went straight home after picking him up from daycare. He asked if he could visit next door, but the neighbors weren’t home. So we changed our clothes and without any trouble asked me for his print-outs to get started on his homework. I gave them to him and left him alone as I started supper.
Now comes the tough part. He called out to me in the saddest voice…”look mom, I’m not complaining.” And then said that I needed to tell his teacher he was not complaining. He had understood what his teacher had told him and followed through. The lump in my throat came when I looked at him sitting there, carefully tracing his words and repeating the same thing…”look mom, I’m not complaining.” I went over to praise him for a good job and he wouldn’t look up at me, instead he said, “I’m sorry I was complaining the other day. I’m not gonna do it again, mom.”
When he finished his work, we sat down to supper. He was quiet mostly, few words were spoken, but a few smiles came from his face, with dimples (an inside joke between us). As we finished up, he then asked if I was going to write that he did “good”. We went to watch TV for a while and he still asked what I was going to write. So I went to the table and opened the notebook. I read out loud as I wrote how well he did his homework…without complaining.
I think Puppy had a good night’s rest that day. I hope I removed some stress off him if even for one night.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
It was only one hour
Yesterday was a stressful evening. Funny how I look at that sentence today…and now I feel so selfish.
What made it stressful? My son was having anxiety attacks. His own stress must have been magnified a thousand times greater than mine, and I just wanted him to calm down and let it go. I wanted peace and quiet. That was selfish of me.
Puppy was doing well on the way home after picking him up from daycare. He mentioned to me that he had already done his homework. This consists of studying ten spelling words and reading some six paragraphs of a story. As a test, I asked him to repeat just one of the spelling words from this week’s new list. He couldn’t and so I told him we would go over the words one more time at home.
Bam! I heard, “No, I don’t want to, I did them in daycare!” And then it hit him. Yelling at mom was not good behavior. Oh, ooh. And wham! He started…”I’m sorry, don’t tell teacher“. “Teacher is going to take away my wallet!” “No, no, it’s my wallet, she can’t take it!” I heard this all the way home.
But it didn’t end when we arrived home. I told him I would change out of my work clothes and then we’d get started on his homework. He decided to follow me upstairs and again, yelled a nice big, “NO!” I reminded him that he should not raise his voice to mom, and directed him to go rest for a while in his room while I got changed. Not even 10 minutes passed when he was in my room asking for forgiveness. I accepted and after a small talk about what had happened earlier; he willingly headed downstairs to start working on spelling words.
Normally, this would continue into a quieter evening of homework, supper, television, talking, laughing, and then bedtime after his shower. But needless to say, we are not like other "normal" families.
As Puppy was beginning his homework he began to ask repeatedly, "Am I behaving?" "What are you going to write in the notebook?" "I'm being so good, mom?" "Don't tell teacher I yelled." "It's my wallet, no, no, no one takes it!" And as easily as those statements were spoken, his tears started to fall, his temperature was rising, his voice was stronger, and he was in full anxiety mode. Puppy was in overload and stressing over the notes I was going to write in the communication notebook to his teacher about our evening.
With a little help and reassurance from his teacher via texting, Puppy began to cool down and he was reacting to the praises on his homework and forgetting about why he was upset in the first place. At least so I thought. Once his work was done he did ask if I was going to tell his teacher he had bad behavior at home and apologized many times for having a difficult time.
My son was apologizing. He's come so far. He realized what he had done and identified it as unwanted behavior and apologized for it. He was specific to the yelling at mom, the crying and talking back. I'm remembering now, and I do remember that I also apologized to him for upsetting him. I must have, it was only us two. I'm guilty of forgetting how easy it is for Puppy to take my words literally and it can bring on thoughts and memories that cause him to react beyond his control.
This happened last night between the hour of 6:30 P.M. and 7:30 P.M. It was only one hour of our day; but it felt like four. This is only a small example of living with autism.
What made it stressful? My son was having anxiety attacks. His own stress must have been magnified a thousand times greater than mine, and I just wanted him to calm down and let it go. I wanted peace and quiet. That was selfish of me.
Puppy was doing well on the way home after picking him up from daycare. He mentioned to me that he had already done his homework. This consists of studying ten spelling words and reading some six paragraphs of a story. As a test, I asked him to repeat just one of the spelling words from this week’s new list. He couldn’t and so I told him we would go over the words one more time at home.
Bam! I heard, “No, I don’t want to, I did them in daycare!” And then it hit him. Yelling at mom was not good behavior. Oh, ooh. And wham! He started…”I’m sorry, don’t tell teacher“. “Teacher is going to take away my wallet!” “No, no, it’s my wallet, she can’t take it!” I heard this all the way home.
But it didn’t end when we arrived home. I told him I would change out of my work clothes and then we’d get started on his homework. He decided to follow me upstairs and again, yelled a nice big, “NO!” I reminded him that he should not raise his voice to mom, and directed him to go rest for a while in his room while I got changed. Not even 10 minutes passed when he was in my room asking for forgiveness. I accepted and after a small talk about what had happened earlier; he willingly headed downstairs to start working on spelling words.
Normally, this would continue into a quieter evening of homework, supper, television, talking, laughing, and then bedtime after his shower. But needless to say, we are not like other "normal" families.
As Puppy was beginning his homework he began to ask repeatedly, "Am I behaving?" "What are you going to write in the notebook?" "I'm being so good, mom?" "Don't tell teacher I yelled." "It's my wallet, no, no, no one takes it!" And as easily as those statements were spoken, his tears started to fall, his temperature was rising, his voice was stronger, and he was in full anxiety mode. Puppy was in overload and stressing over the notes I was going to write in the communication notebook to his teacher about our evening.
With a little help and reassurance from his teacher via texting, Puppy began to cool down and he was reacting to the praises on his homework and forgetting about why he was upset in the first place. At least so I thought. Once his work was done he did ask if I was going to tell his teacher he had bad behavior at home and apologized many times for having a difficult time.
My son was apologizing. He's come so far. He realized what he had done and identified it as unwanted behavior and apologized for it. He was specific to the yelling at mom, the crying and talking back. I'm remembering now, and I do remember that I also apologized to him for upsetting him. I must have, it was only us two. I'm guilty of forgetting how easy it is for Puppy to take my words literally and it can bring on thoughts and memories that cause him to react beyond his control.
This happened last night between the hour of 6:30 P.M. and 7:30 P.M. It was only one hour of our day; but it felt like four. This is only a small example of living with autism.
Friday, March 25, 2011
He says, "I love you"
I am guilty of taking things for granted. The worst part of it is that it took me hearing another parent mention she is waiting to hear her daughter say "I love you" when it hit me. For those who don't know this, emotions are not usually expressed by persons who are autistic. Most children learn emotions through pictures on paper. This is not instinct to them. They are unable to interpret facial expressions or feelings, etc.
I can remember when Puppy was 4 years old, we would go everywhere together and I'd have him in his car seat as we rode around. He was non-verbal then. I would look at him through the rear view mirror and say to him, "I love you." I did this several times everyday because in my mind I wanted him to know that he was with me because I wanted him to be, I made a decision to bring him home with me, and he was loved.
During this period, I was still unaware that Puppy was autistic, and I was just trying to get him to speak, to repeat words. Well, my silly act of trying to make him talk by repeating "I love you" finally paid off.
Today, Puppy tells me and I tell him how much we love each other. We've been doing it back and forth for years that I had forgotten how important those three little words really are. I can't imagine those words not being a part of our lives. It was and still is what keeps us bonding with each other.
In an earlier post I told about how I received my first hug from Puppy. I report that this has not happened again. I cherish that one hug. It was honest and I felt it came from his heart. But I am also certain that we will share many more hugs in the years to come. I'm not sad about it, I wait for it with anticipation. Why? Because Puppy loves me...and I love him.
I can remember when Puppy was 4 years old, we would go everywhere together and I'd have him in his car seat as we rode around. He was non-verbal then. I would look at him through the rear view mirror and say to him, "I love you." I did this several times everyday because in my mind I wanted him to know that he was with me because I wanted him to be, I made a decision to bring him home with me, and he was loved.
During this period, I was still unaware that Puppy was autistic, and I was just trying to get him to speak, to repeat words. Well, my silly act of trying to make him talk by repeating "I love you" finally paid off.
Today, Puppy tells me and I tell him how much we love each other. We've been doing it back and forth for years that I had forgotten how important those three little words really are. I can't imagine those words not being a part of our lives. It was and still is what keeps us bonding with each other.
In an earlier post I told about how I received my first hug from Puppy. I report that this has not happened again. I cherish that one hug. It was honest and I felt it came from his heart. But I am also certain that we will share many more hugs in the years to come. I'm not sad about it, I wait for it with anticipation. Why? Because Puppy loves me...and I love him.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
I'm Still Here
I know it's been a while since I have posted anything, and I apologize. I'm not really sure why. It's not like there isn't anytime to write. There's plenty of time. Sure, most of our days have been repeats of the others, nothing exciting happening these days. I've already posted a few times about how wonderful Puppy is doing, and I didn't want to take the chance of losing a follower for posting one more 'broken record' story. But I suppose that I can write a little about what Puppy does so as to keep my faithful followers from straying.
My Puppy is so cute some days. And although he's a cute kid, I mean it as in he's funny. When we wakes up in the morning, he has a routine (which is his life, a routine). He stretches in bed and depending on the time, a) if it's early, he will dress himself for school. Then, he will speed-dial my sister and give her a wake-up call. and b) If he's running late, I hand him the phone to make his call before he gets dressed. He seems to need that little pep-talk to get him going, even if he's ready. But that isn't the cute part yet.
Puppy still takes the time to ask me every morning, "What did you write to teacher?" He wants to make sure I don't write about anything negative, or some story that may give his teacher reason to have him turn over his wallet to her for the day. His wallet still remains his most valuable possession in the whole wide world. Of course I follow this with, "Tell me, how did you behave?" He says, "I behave really good many days." So I remind him that then I don't have any bad news for his teacher. If nothing else, I think I'm making him curious enough so he wants to learn to read my comments in our communication book himself. He's cute, and so funny.
Well, I'll think of something else and get back to you all, really soon. Promise.
My Puppy is so cute some days. And although he's a cute kid, I mean it as in he's funny. When we wakes up in the morning, he has a routine (which is his life, a routine). He stretches in bed and depending on the time, a) if it's early, he will dress himself for school. Then, he will speed-dial my sister and give her a wake-up call. and b) If he's running late, I hand him the phone to make his call before he gets dressed. He seems to need that little pep-talk to get him going, even if he's ready. But that isn't the cute part yet.
Puppy still takes the time to ask me every morning, "What did you write to teacher?" He wants to make sure I don't write about anything negative, or some story that may give his teacher reason to have him turn over his wallet to her for the day. His wallet still remains his most valuable possession in the whole wide world. Of course I follow this with, "Tell me, how did you behave?" He says, "I behave really good many days." So I remind him that then I don't have any bad news for his teacher. If nothing else, I think I'm making him curious enough so he wants to learn to read my comments in our communication book himself. He's cute, and so funny.
Well, I'll think of something else and get back to you all, really soon. Promise.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
And then it happened...
It had been a night just like most other nights. Puppy and I come home, check the fridge for something to eat. We eat supper, then do homework or watch a little T.V. and he heads off to take his shower before bedtime. But something different happened today.
Look in the fridge, check; sit down to eat together, check; make small conversation, check; clean up after supper, check, and so on.
After a few minutes, Puppy then comes up to me and says, "Mom, I'm behaving so good today?" I answered, "Of course you are." And then it happened -- My son leaned into me, put his arms around me, and held me tight for what was maybe three seconds! He stands back up and gives me a big grin.
There it was...my son's FIRST HUG! Never before had I received a hug from my son. Even when he's coached for one, his arms don't come up to embrace, he just leans in and I do the hugging. I always hoped he would eventually just learn to mimic when the time was right. Oh, the praise that he received and the joy I expressed made him bring his hands up to his chest and his fingers moved up and down, back and forth against his thumbs, as if to remove dirt or crumbs from them. This is his way of showing excitement, similar to hand flapping.
Wow! I'm still so moved by it. Some might say they have seen him hug, but no...this was HIS hug. It wasn't coached, asked for, or initiated by me. It was all him.
I know, I'm babbling now, but no one can imagine how thrilled I am this evening. It gave me a natural high for at least an hour. But re-living the moment will be with me forever.
My son is 12 years old and is a high-functioning autistic. Emotions are difficult for him to understand. We have managed to teach him the basics like happy and sad, but the others, are not so easy. But he has come a long way. Today was proof of this.
After you read this, if you have a child...give him or them the biggest hug ever.
Look in the fridge, check; sit down to eat together, check; make small conversation, check; clean up after supper, check, and so on.
After a few minutes, Puppy then comes up to me and says, "Mom, I'm behaving so good today?" I answered, "Of course you are." And then it happened -- My son leaned into me, put his arms around me, and held me tight for what was maybe three seconds! He stands back up and gives me a big grin.
There it was...my son's FIRST HUG! Never before had I received a hug from my son. Even when he's coached for one, his arms don't come up to embrace, he just leans in and I do the hugging. I always hoped he would eventually just learn to mimic when the time was right. Oh, the praise that he received and the joy I expressed made him bring his hands up to his chest and his fingers moved up and down, back and forth against his thumbs, as if to remove dirt or crumbs from them. This is his way of showing excitement, similar to hand flapping.
Wow! I'm still so moved by it. Some might say they have seen him hug, but no...this was HIS hug. It wasn't coached, asked for, or initiated by me. It was all him.
I know, I'm babbling now, but no one can imagine how thrilled I am this evening. It gave me a natural high for at least an hour. But re-living the moment will be with me forever.
My son is 12 years old and is a high-functioning autistic. Emotions are difficult for him to understand. We have managed to teach him the basics like happy and sad, but the others, are not so easy. But he has come a long way. Today was proof of this.
After you read this, if you have a child...give him or them the biggest hug ever.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
