Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day and other holidays

The following is something I wanted to share, in relation to Mother's Day and other holidays. It was well written by Estee Klar and included in a blog by Kristina Chew, who wrote, "What I've Learned As the Mother of an Autistic Son (VIDEO) - and put on twitter by (Richard Bolster). I want to make sure I give credit to everyone involved that helped me find the blog. Below is the section of her blog that caught my attention.

Kristina Chew writes:

My friend and "commadre" in Autismland, Estée Klar, sums up the pang and the love mothers of kids with disabilities may feel on holidays. She writes:

As an only child and single mother to an autistic son, I have to be honest that I sometimes find myself grumbling about holidays. I know it sounds very cynical of me, but hear me out. Another hallmark holiday can make me feel left out. Our kids are supposed to make us cards, buy us flowers, gifts and tell us how wonderful we are. Usually, there is a husband to make the kids abide if the kids are too busy playing Xbox. I remember fondly making those cards and telling my mom how much (and still do) love and appreciate her. In my case, my dad didn’t always have to remind me. Adam can’t make me a card; at least not without the help of another person. So, another holiday comes and that’s the pang....

As Mother's Day approaches, I think of the daily moments I share with Adam; how much we've been through together and how much I wanted him. I waited until my late thirties to have him. Other's have forced him to make cards and say "Happy Mother's Day mummy ... I wuv you," and he repeats it obediently, hands me the card made with construction paper and crayons. Sure, I love the card and keep them in a special box, but I know he doesn't care about it so much.

Today, he cares about the items he can make on his own volition. He cares about when I am there for him and can comfort him or love him just because. In return, I receive his voluntary hugs and kisses, his laughter, his smile, his pulling me towards him and saying my name. At night as I tuck him into his favorite blanket, he'll say in his little voice, "don't go."...

For us moms whose children cannot and may not make cards and say I love you this year, don't despair. I hear you and I'm with you. Be proud of your mothering efforts and happy that we are moms of our wonderful children. I don't know about you, but I never get the feeling that Adam doesn't love me. Just because he can’t always express it in words, or as slick as a Hallmark card, I feel ocean waves of love and appreciation every single day.

I couldn't have said it any better.