Damn Obsessions (Final)

Okay, I dragged it out and for some reason I'm not making time to finish this story off.  I'm going to cut to the chase and ignore the details. Here we go.

Puppy went next door in the evening of the 8th to play with the kids since they were in the backyard. The family was cooking out and let him in. There were a few family guests there and all seemed to be going well. I had told Puppy to come home early because he wasn't invited for the cookout and to my surprise he complied and was home around 7 P.M. Then he asked if he could go to his room and rest then shower. I wasn't going to disagree and so the evening ended on a good note.

The next morning he was up at his usual 7 A.M. and dressed. He wanted to go outdoors but isn't allowed to unless I'm watching him. When a few hours went by and we had gone through our morning routines, he comes inside and sits across from me.  He says he has to tell me something and is looking at my face for an expression. I see his eyes moving back and forth as if taking a hundred pictures. I try to make my expressions as exaggerated as possible so he can tell the difference, and he's caught on pretty well. So first of all I'm as calm as can be to make sure he confides in me. Then he hits me with the information that he has another box of cigarettes. He's been picking them off the ground for years. He asks if I want to see it and hands it to me with a grip on it so I need to pull it from him. He quickly says it's his and wants it back. Surprise! THIS box has eleven cigarettes in it!! I can only imagine he swiped it off a table at the neighbor's the night before.

I talked to him about right and wrong and very wrong and super duper wrong. I may as well been talking to the wall because he just kept shaking his head and asking for the box back because they were his, in his eyes. I hid the box during his pacing back and forth and managed to keep it away from him permanently.

My son, the cigarette snatcher, picker upper. This damn obsession is so strong and overwhelming to him. I wish there was an on and off switch. I am open for any advice.

Damn Obsessions (Continued)

So on this Saturday morning of the 8^th, I am having breakfast around 8 A.M. because that’s as early as I was able to drag myself out of bed. Puppy had already fixed himself waffles and milk and was ready to head out the door to observe any neighbor smoking that comes out of their house first. I figured something was up, so sure enough he had run out of paper to use as rolled up cigarettes, so he had gone through my purse and taken four dollars, had rolled them up and taped them as substitutes. But I didn’t find these until later that morning. So let’s just say he was a happy camper because he was getting his imaginary fix on cigarettes.

In one of his check-ups on me, I was able to have him help me with laundry chores, so the entire morning wasn’t lost. However, we had an invitation from Ms. H to attend her son’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese at noon. Let’s just say the morning flew by and we were at the party. The only problem is that Puppy has been complaining of chest pains for a few days this week so I figured I better have him checked. With Puppy, it could be anything. It’s not easy to know because he doesn’t have the vocabulary to describe his pain or location very well. He’s been going through so many issues these days that I was thinking it was just anxiety or nerves because it usually comes around the time he’s stressed about something he did. He was looked over by a doctor at a clinic and he guessed it may be heartburn because test results were normal. We picked up our prescription for Zantac and went home.

Boy, this story is really going to drag out since I’m writing early in the morning and not having enough time. Once again, to be continued.

My List

Oh how I miss blogging. So much has happened since my last posting that I don't know where to start. Maybe if I list them I can get a handle on my thoughts and run through them and I might even place some on hold for later posts.

1. I had my Internet disconnected.
2. Our washer is still broken.
3. I had to replace my a/c unit.
4. Puppy and I are back home and sleeping in our own beds.
5. I'm busier than ever at work with new duties.
6. I paid off my truck!
7. Puppy keeps pulling out his wires and the brackets on his braces. I got scolded by the orthodontist.
8. Puppy still wants to make boxes with rolled up papers in them.
9. My brother passed away.
10. Puppy is still obsessed with wallets and adding muscle growth to his obsession list.

That's enough to overwhelm anyone. And not having Internet to blog and vent is killing me.

Well, I should be getting my Internet restored on the November 17, so mark your calendars, I'll be back and hopefully with more energy to write.

Thanks for hanging around and waiting on me.

Just saying

Let me start by saying, “This weekend wore me out.” I know some of you who know me and even spent time with me this weekend won’t understand. You’ll think that I took Puppy to my parents’ house and he did just fine, so why am I complaining and whining? It’s what happens behind closed doors and in our own home, and in our drives to and from here and there that are exhausting, stressful, tiring, worrisome, and even overwhelming.

Puppy has been having some strange behaviors lately. I’m blaming it a several things. One, his summer school class had to share a classroom with another group of students, so distraction and new observations took place for those four weeks. Two, even though he’s back with a familiar daycare, his routine was changed.  Three, the end of summer school was this past Thursday.  Four, he just now got the idea that he won’t go to school for a several days, but it’s actually about 6-7 weeks, I haven’t checked the school calendar for the return date. Five, going through puberty and being a teenager suck. Six, the heat and multiple days of 100 degrees as an average has not allowed him to spend those outdoor hours like he wants.  And seven, he had lower braces put in on Friday, too.

His observation skills are always at their best. So remember when I said he was recording bad words into his Mp3 a few weeks ago? Now he’s constantly saying bad words any chance he gets, any little disagreement with him triggers the mouth to spill the colorful words in both languages until he gets tired or causes self injury and distracts himself. There’s no such thing as time out because he’s outgrown it and doesn’t comply. I don’t spank him for fear he will repeat the actions since he mimics everything. And I kept myself from slapping him a million times because I know that’s abuse, plus he has braces, I see images in my head of the damage that a slap can do.  Spanking and slaps were okay when I was growing up, but now its considered abuse. Just saying.

Puppy is used to having his wallet taken away whenever he has unwanted behavior. So now he just puts it in my nightstand drawer whenever he misbehaves. He doesn’t even wait for me to ask for it. Then after an hour or longer, maybe even a day goes by, when he’s calmed down and, apologized he goes to retrieve it.

And the braces…since he had the lower braces put in place this last Friday – in almost three days Puppy has managed to wiggle his tongue in between his teeth and the wire that is on the brackets and pulled the wire out of place about nine times; and counting. Aside from learning how to put the wire back into place without light, but rather by touch, I have also learned another lesson; no more dental visits on Fridays. Just saying.

The repeating, the repeating, the repeating. Not only was Puppy repeating the foul language, he was repeating his request for hugs to Ms. H all week long. He was repeating he was going to behave because he wants presents and a birthday party in two weeks. He was repeating, "Where's Cody?" (our dog) a gazillion times.  Need I say more? Don't ask me to repeat this, please.

Today, Sunday, we woke up later than usual, which was no surprise since we went to bed at 1:30 A.M. the night before. So we stayed home and he was so anxious to leave and go somewhere, usually to my parents' so he can be outdoors. The stress of being home makes Puppy go stir crazy sometimes. Being bored caused him to cuss and then made him look for ways to upset and anger me. He went to make his cigarette box and paper cigarettes. I still pat myself on the back at how easily I can have the upper hand on knowing what he's doing when he thinks he's being so secretive. It always shocks him when I mention I know what he did. This happened twice on just Sunday alone.  He threw all his paper stuff away and apologized like always, and life went on. And we did finally go to my parents' in the mid-afternoon.

So yes, it was a long rough weekend whenever Puppy and I spent our quality time together. But actually, to be more specific, it was tantrum after tantrum and maybe a meltdown too during the last couple of weeks. I just didn't feel like writing about tantrums because it seems like I'm re-living them.  Just saying.

Another bite

On Friday the 4^th, Puppy's class had a field day to unwind from the Olympic events. He watched a movie, went to the gym to relax not exercise and was getting ready to go outdoors for some face painting. But something happened and no one could figure out what. Puppy decided he didn’t feel like being in the gym and bit his hand once more. The teacher aide walked him to the classroom where he threatened to do it again. She held his hands down, and told me it didn’t last long. In minutes he was calm and himself again. However, this kind of behavior calls for him to turn in his wallet, and since his hands were being held, the watch had gotten in the way so it was removed from his arm and taken away as well.

I was suppose to get the two items in my hand at the time I picked him up from after school care, but if he knows I have them, he will likely whine and cry or nag until I give into his tactics. I asked that they hide the items in his backpack and I would return them to him over the weekend when I saw he was remorseful of his actions.

When we got home Puppy turned to his usual substitute, cigarettes. It never helps that we see our neighbor across the street is outside smoking. He started to hunt for paper and tape. We don’t have any tape so glue would have to do. He’s pretty good at making paper boxes similar to a cigarette box. Before he could even get started, Ms. H arrived and he was redirected to telling his story of how his day went and he told what happened in school. She was able to show her disappointment and quickly told him to bring down his dirty laundry so that chores could begin. She and I were surprised that he complied and did as he was told.  I even got pictures of him helping to sort the clothes. He caught me with the phone and asked if I would send to his teacher. This was to prove to her that he was having good behavior and listening to mom. He was already thinking ahead about how he needed to prove he deserved his wallet and watch to be returned.

Later, it was shower time and there were no complaints. He marched right up the stairs and even though he took his time about it, he also complied and shower time was in progress. He came downstairs dressed in pjs and with construction paper and glue in his hands. He sat down beside me and said he was thinking too much about cigarettes and he was going to make a box. I reminded him that we had a “no paper rule” but he didn’t care, his thoughts had taken over.

Being the tattletale that I am,...I texted his teacher and explained what was happening. She simply texted back, “NO PAPER…rules are rules.” I showed him the phone and he read the message himself. “Oh-oh, tell teacher I’m throwing it away.” He tore the paper and threw it in the trashcan.

 

That was the end of it; and then he announced he was tired and going to bed. We kissed good night. And we didn’t hear from him again that night.

Puppy's weekend

Here we go, just like I said, I blog whenever something happens…and it did.

Our weekend was going rather smoothly with the usual small tantrums or rather, some small rebellious tactics from Puppy whenever he didn’t like the answer I gave him. But I'll go over our weekend in a little more detail.

Puppy did well at my parents’ after school on Friday.  I decided to withdraw him from daycare on Fridays, and he'll be left off by the bus at my parents' unless I see that there are problems arising from this new routine. But he generally loves being outdoors as much as possible; and this is the perfect place for him to do just that. We also hung around at my parents’ to attend a small birthday party for my nephew with family and friends that evening.  Everything was fine then, too. It was a long day for all of us. Once we got home he fussed about taking a shower so I allowed it for the following morning.  

Then Saturday came with an early rise since he had to shower before going to the orthodontist for an 8:30 a.m. appointment.  Thankfully, this also went off without a hitch and we were out the door by 8:00. We didn’t even wait 10 minutes before Puppy was called in and seated. Although it took a little while for the doctor to actually get to us, it was worth it. I was told that because a wire was not placed on his braces back in February when the dental appliance was first put on, there was no change to his upper teeth. However, since he had the upper appliance since February (See Dental Visits), I was able to plea with the doctor to remove it until further notice when we are ready to start another procedure. Puppy will now be able to speak more clearly and eat with ease instead of having his food always getting stuck between his upper palette and the dental appliance.  He was certainly a happy camper about this and gave a huge smile when it was off. We will be back in a month to see what’s next on the schedule.

Once we hit the streets, I texted my brother and asked if he had breakfast ready. My sister-in-law had put two “lenguas” (cow tongues) in the slow-cooker overnight and I was looking forward to having some that morning. I picked up a 12-pak of Dr. Pepper and headed over with Puppy. It was delicious! We had a nice visit and then headed home to begin chores with Ms. H. Even this went all right. Puppy helped by vacuuming his bedroom as promised a few days earlier. And he stayed out of the way until we called upon him for hangers and such.

When all the laundry and chores were done, he was just itching to leave because our neighbor from across the street had been working on a project in his backyard all afternoon and I wouldn’t allow Puppy to go over. I’ve stopped allowing Puppy go over to this neighbor’s house because this older man smokes. Cigarettes are Puppy’s second obsession. It consumes him just as badly as wallets do; and that’s too much for Puppy to handle. He will want to make pretend paper cigarettes or paper boxes, all from just watching someone else smoking. But we were able to escape without further mention of the neighbor and headed over to my parents’ house.

That afternoon and evening went very well with Puppy having a good time with family. When we got home at around 10:00 p.m., I saw the backyard gate to the neighbor across the street was open; and he was still working on some carpentry. Puppy also saw this and debated with me for what seemed like an eternity, but really it was about 15-20 minutes and still longer than I wanted a debate to take, but ignoring him was not working. I suppose he finally realized I was not changing my mind and lastly gave in to staying put and going to bed. It’s on nights like these when he is so determined to get his way, I’m so exhausted from the mind games that I can’t fall asleep for fear that he will get up after I’m in bed. It’s not amusing but I was thankful it was Saturday. 

Sunday started like most, early to rise. Puppy was ready before me and went downstairs to fix himself a bowl of cereal. He was done by the time I came down.  And then it began again. “Can I go across the street?” “He’s outside in the backyard.” I asked him if the gate was open and he told me it was. I know I shouldn’t have let him go, but the man would be busy and hopefully not smoking so early. I gave in and whispered only for a little while. 

I proceeded in preparing my breakfast and turned on the laptop for some morning reading. I remember having finished eating when Puppy came back inside and said, “Mom, the police wants to talk to you.” I was confused and wondered why would he say that? Duh, because there was a police car parked in front of our house. I was still in pjs but I met the officer outside as he approached the door. I asked if I could help him, and with Puppy standing next to me, he asked if this was my son. I said, “Yes, why, what is the problem?” He asked, “Is he okay?” I answered, “Yes, he has autism, but he’s fine.” He said, “Oh, well I found him trying to open the gate to the house across the street.” I turned to ask Puppy, “Why were you doing that if you told me it was open and the man was outside?” Puppy lifted his shoulders. I asked him, “Why did you lie to mom?” And he replied, “I’m sorry.” With that, the officer just told me to keep a close watch on him and left. Puppy was so nervous so we went inside and sat down to talk about this incident. I tried to explain that the neighbor probably called the police himself because he doesn’t like kids hanging around his house, especially when he’s working. He's just a grumpy old man and Puppy should not be there because he smokes. My innocent Puppy promised never to ask to go across the street. Sadly he was shaken up a bit with the police visit. I found out days later that the officer questioned him before asking him to get his mom. I'm guessing we won't have any more problems with "that" neighbor, we will be staying on our side of the street.