Sunday, July 31, 2011

The favorite wallet

I know I am supposed to finish up my stories about our last doctor’s appointment and the deck of cards, but today has been a tough day and it’s distracting me from remembering what happened on our trip.

Puppy is having one of those days, or rather one of those weekends. All weekend has had him on a roller coaster ride obsessing about either one wallet or another. And almost always it is about wanting the wallet he doesn’t have. He remembers every single feature about each wallet for instance how many pockets, in which direction the cards slide in, where the ID goes, if it has a zipper, or has a flip-it for extra cards, etc. Puppy has gone through so many wallets in the last three years that I find it hard to imagine he can even have a favorite. But he does every now and then. And that simply means that he has an uncontrollable urge to have his favorite wallet for the day. Sometimes this lasts for only a day. But I’ve even seen his urge only last for hours as he flips from one wallet to another. He’s explained to me that he closes his eyes and he can see the wallet so clearly that he can feel or smell the wallet. Yes, all senses become a part of this need.

When all else failed, Puppy went searching for his supplies and with paper, scotch tape and scissors he sat at the dinner table to make a paper wallet with the features he wanted. This usually satisfies him temporarily but I let him make them because it calms him and stops the tantrums. So he had his paper wallet for a few hours before he went back to the last wallet he was using. But it didn't last long and we were back to tantrums.

Anyhow, Puppy has been angry at me for most of the weekend because I have not assisted him in producing an older wallet that has been explained to him as “gone to the landfill” and never to be seen again. So what was his answer to this? On Saturday, he carefully searched our kitchen cabinets and found some trash bags and brought them back to me. Then he put into plain words, “We can put our hands in the bags and pick up the trash and find it.” “That’s how grandma picks up trash outside.” Yep, he said that, too. I struggled to change the subject. It is a struggle because I lack imagination, but I try. I remember that Ms. H (Puppy's awesome PCS assistant) was in our home and getting ready to leave on that cue, and together we managed to get him focused on heading out the door for a trip to the hair salon for a haircut. I was glad she is here to see some of the emotions Puppy goes through and to also help me by jumping in where I go speechless.

Sunday wasn’t too unusual. We went back and forth about why he couldn’t have “the” wallet he sought and he would get upset and throw his tantrums. I’d try my best to ignore it but when we are the only two people in the house alone, it becomes a challenge. Nonetheless, we made it through the morning and headed out the door by 1:00 P.M. We went over to my parents’ home even though they were out of town. Then Puppy and I were treated to lunch by my brother and a friend as we enjoyed a meal at one of our favorite restaurants.

I like going to my parents’ home because Puppy can wander around outdoors and is usually at peace when he isn’t closed in by four walls. So around 5:00 P.M. we made a trip to the grocery store before heading home. He was not his best and this store is one of the worst places to take Puppy to because it has a fair collection of wallets for sale. He did pretty well, but he was irritated that I didn’t allow him to look through the section and yet we made it home safely.

After unpacking the groceries and other items we purchased, he was still unsettled about not having his favorite wallet and we continued our (him) whining and (me) ignoring episodes until he finally gave up and got into the shower. He wrote a note asking God to help him and to find the wallet for him. I’ve tried to teach him about faith, but he’s gone a bit overboard on the asking. It is also fairly hard to explain to him how God or Jesus or angels can help us in our time of need. He just knew he needed his wallet and he was going to the top. The best part of the evening was that he was satisfied with his method of making his request that went over my head and didn’t have a problem falling asleep tonight. This is rare and so welcomed. I’ll wait and see what the morning has in store for me, us.